Jeff*, like me, is a writer, a speaker, and the head of a consulting company. As far as I can tell, he's professional, well respected, capable, honest, and has a popular following. Someone we both know has asked us to collaborate on a project and there's clearly a mutual benefit to our working together.
It all sounds great except for one thing: I don't like Jeff.
Something about him rubs me the wrong way. He seems too self-serving or egocentric or self-satisfied. I don't know what it is exactly, but I know I don't like him.
I mentioned that to the person who wants us to work together. She told me, essentially, to get over it. "You don't have to like him," she said, "but you'd be smart to work with him."
So how do you work with someone you don't like?
I think it boils down to the exact kind of "don't like"...
ReplyDeleteIf it's simply the way his nose sits in his face, I suppose your contact is right: Get over it and on with job.
As professionals we are asked to stay focused and not let personal issues get in the way. All too often the latter happens for good as for bad. No matter whether you give somebody a hard time because of personal differences or cut them undue slack because your too cosy with each other, it's unacceptable as it undermines your professionalism, integrity and impartiality.
Those attributes you assigned to Jeff, in the first instance fall well into that domain as they are down to personal style and attitudes and hence differ.
There is however a fine line where these "dislikes" become more than that and indeed risk compromising your professionalism, at which point its important to be decisive and pull out for your own sake.
I have occasionally in my career stopped working for clients or colleagues when ethics emerged I couldn't support and even was ask to act inappropriately. Often it's a very individual judgement call when that threshold is reached, yet to me personal integrity has to come first.
Just recently a long standing training client of mine pulled the plug on a course they had already contracted me for after they found out that their client tried to steal clients and trainers behind their back. I expressed my full support to them as I would have done just the same in their situation.
This is one of many differences between the world of work in the US and the UK. In the US, a vast amount of recruitment time is spent on finding a "corporate fit" socially, rather than the best qualified individual professionally. In the UK, one's social life is rarely tied up with one's professional life. Hence, you come to work to work, and you socialize with people you choose to like back home. Your social life revolves around sports clubs (tennis, badminton, golf) political or religious organizations, amateur music or dramatics, or attendance at many arts events. Thus, you don't have to have anything in common with your colleagues, other than a desire to get the WORK done. Perhaps that's why a standard day in the UK is 7 hours, vs 8 in the US - Brits are so keen to get home they don't waste time talking around the water cooler, because their social life is elsewhere!
ReplyDeleteTo begin with be professional and put your dislike on the back burner and give him the benefit of the doubt. Once you begin it is quite possible that your prejudice may just fade away and you might actually find him a good associate. On the other hand maybe you could be proved right and be a guide to future associations wherein you can confidently trust your intuitive abilities.
ReplyDelete